2 longtimes ago today, I given my life behind. I was sick and tired of my marriage and ministry.

Two years ago today, I left my life behind. I was sick and tired of my marriage and ministry. I was completely burned out on overworking and chasing success in the name of ministry, and I was disconnected from my family. I felt all alone, and I wanted a partner in life. 15-year rut that I found myself in, I chose to implode my living. I didn’t want to do the hard work of investing in a great marriage. I wanted to start over with someone else. After following the “rules” by doing what was true, strategic, and practical most of life, 

I didn’t care what anyone else thought. this new path led to destruction. I found myself more alone than ever…wanting to end my life. I checked myself into a hospital for three days, and I battled suicide for another two weeks after I got out. That is…until I apologized to my wife on May 3rd. From that day forward, I’ve never wanted to kill myself. Instead, I set the trajectory of my heart toward the woman I originally covenanted to be with, and I’ve been working on an intimate partnership with her. After 6 months out of my family’s home, I moved back in August.Ironically, my therapist pointed out that he fully supported what I did. I was searching for freedom, intimacy, passion, and an enjoyable life. Since that day two years ago… * I’ve received incredible amounts of grace and forgiveness from my wife, kids, family, and friends. * I’ve re-focused my gifts on helping corporations develop effective marketing. * I’ve enjoyed reconnecting with my passion for photography. * I’ve written the journey of my destruction and redemption in a memoir that will be published this year. * Laura and I helped start a children’s home in southern India for 30 orphans. * I’ve quit striving toward success or building something; instead, I’ve just been “enjoying” every day and letting God unfold what’s next. * I’ve embraced my strengths and weaknesses, and I worry less and less about what others think of me. * I’ve mourned the disconnection, brokenness, and loss of so many relationships. I deeply apprize those who have dependent me on this journey, and I have compassion for those who haven’t been able to (and many who still can’t). I’m thankful that God is gracious and merciful, because I continue to need it each and every day. If I could take away the pain that I’ve cause people, I’d do it in a heartbeat…but I can’t. All I can do is make amends daily by following Jesus, loving my family, and serving others with the gifts I’ve been given. it may seem harder to STAY and work through the issues than to simply LEAVE and just start over. It isn’t worth it If you’re meaning about leaving your life and you need someone to talk to, we’re here for you.

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